Men will often defend hierarchy as good and necessary and they are not entirely wrong. Sometimes decisions just need to be made and if there is no clearly designated decision maker, catastrophe can ensue and in some cases, lives may even be lost. Militaries, police & fire departments and medical teams have very clear and established hierarchies for a reason - because they are regularly in literally life or death situations. Most of us, however, are not. Yet the vast majority of businesses, companies and even churches continue to operate under and defend the necessity of continuous hierarchical systems.
While it can be critically important to have an established hierarchy in place in a crisis, it can be just as catastrophic to try and operate under a hierarchical system when there is no crisis. Men on top of hierarchical systems love the power and authority it gives them, but it is actually a recipe for disaster in most situations. This is even more true among couples. That’s why I developed the 49/51 principle.
I believe that the phrase “two heads are better than one” is absolutely true, but too often leaders in patriarchal/ hierarchical systems simply don’t listen to anyone else. In some cases they don’t listen because they don’t have to but in other cases it is because they think that doing so will make them appear weak. The 49/51 system provides a clear framework for hierarchical decision making when it’s most needed, while creating a more egalitarian framework the rest of the time.
The 49/51 principle allows couples to operate more along the lines of the U.S. Government, which has kept our nation stable for close to 250 years now. Getting a bill passed through congress requires an enormously high degree of cooperation and compromise, which is exactly how most decisions should be made. That being said, in a crisis, congress can cede complete authority to the President in order to make decisions quickly.
The 49/51 principle applies this same framework to couples or businesses, allowing them to quickly configure into crisis mode, while keeping regular decision making in a more “congressional” or egalitarian model.
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Love & Respect Part 8: The 49/51 Principle