Rethinking Holiness
I think most of us believe that "holiness" looks a lot like religious piety. Yet if Jesus lived a holy life, then holiness looks nothing like what we think.
Almost every afternoon in the summer, I load up my pup and head for the creek. It’s a pretty popular spot for both two and four-legged critters alike. The other day, I was standing just by that rock you see in the picture and a man was standing on the other side throwing a stick for his dog. This dog was on mission. The man would throw the stick and this dog would swim after that stick like the fate of the world depended on him capturing it and returning it to his human.
It reminded me a lot of Matt Chandler and Mark Driscoll and a number of pastors who like to think of themselves as Very Busy and Important Men (VBIM).
Men exhausting themselves doing the self-assigned tasks they like to call “The Lord’s Work.” (Much of which seems to involve prolific Tweeting, by the way.)
Whenever I think of all the Very Busy and Important Men in Evangelicalism lately, I can’t help but also think of Beth Moore. Recently, Beth Moore decided to grow herself some grapes and almost started an International Incident when she made a harmless little joke about having a crush on Jesus. Her silly little pun unleashed a social media frenzy which seems to have caused several VBIM’s heads to explode, not to mention inciting the wrath of more than a few women who align themselves with said VBIM’s.
But just look at this picture.
Looking at this picture reminds me of Psalm 34:8, which says “Taste and see that the Lord is good.”
And this is something that I think Beth Moore understands, which most of the VBIM’s do not.
Somewhere around 2008 or 2009 I became somewhat obsessed with Andy Stanley podcasts. According to Stanley, back in the early 90’s when he was first starting to build his big megachurch, he sat down with his wife asked her what she needed from him. At the time, they had three toddlers and like a good pastor’s wife, she put on her brave face and said she had it all under control. According to Stanley, however, he pressed her and she eventually broke down and said it would be enormously helpful if he could be home every afternoon to help her with the children. According to Stanley, that’s exactly what he did. As he tells it, he went home every afternoon at I believe either 3:00 or 4:00 to help his wife with their children.
Now, keep in mind, I heard this story years ago and from Stanley himself. He would be far from the first man to potentially twist facts to present himself in the best possible light, but it does point to a very important principle. There’s a saying about building a business that it’s a marathon, not a sprint and that is true of almost anything we build. An audience, a church, a house - building anything is a long and frustrating process.
The question is, however, why do we build things? What is it for, what is the purpose? It’s pretty common for religious men to claim that what they are doing is for God, but is it really? Genesis 2 tells us that after God created Adam, She brought him all of the birds and the animals for him to name and whatever he called each living creature, that was its name. (Gen 2:19-20) Now, I don’t think God actually needed the animals to have names. God could have just said “Adam, name the animals,” and gone back to doing whatever very busy and important things God has to do, but She didn’t.
Having Adam name the animals had nothing to do with the animals needing names, it had everything to do with building relationship with Adam. Think of it like your grandmother asking for your help making cookies. She doesn’t actually need your help and she’s probably not asking so that the cookies will get done faster. She’s asking because it is often through building things or doing things together that we build relationship. Most of the time, however, those things don’t actually need doing, the doing is just vehicle for building relationship. Or at least it is supposed to be.
It is sad that modern American history is littered with pairs or small groups of friends building something only to have one person jettison the others as soon as they start to become successful. Jobs did it with Wozniak, Zuckerberg did it with Saverin and Mark Driscoll even did it with Lief Moi, and Mike Gunn. Recently, when Matt Chandler confessed to having made inappropriate comments online, he made reference to the “difficulty of the last six or seven years” and “the pace I run.”
But here’s a question: who ever told him he needed to “run” at that pace in the first place? It certainly wasn’t God. There are so many American men that think they are doing great things for God, when in reality it is God doing great things for them!
It is not God that needs us, we need God.
It is not hard to understand why so many people might resent a God that makes men work as hard as Mark Driscoll and Matt Chandler. Or any of the employees or volunteers at their churches that they drive to work harder and harder and give more, more, more because their mission is just so important. But who (or what) is really driving them? The Jesus who said “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest”? (Matt 11:28) I think not. Too often in America, our sense of worth is tied up in our net worth. Working hard for a mission greater than ourselves can give us a sense of value and worth but it will always be fleeting. Eventually, we all burn out.
So many people in America are just like that dog with that stick. They are laser focused on their very important work of fetching the stick and getting it back to their human. Of course, as soon as they do, what does their human do? Throws the stick again. Why? Because it is not the human that needs the dog to chase the stick, it is the dog that wants the human to throw it so they can do their very important work! Is the world going to fall apart if the dog does not fetch the stick and bring it back? Nope. But I don’t think you’d ever convince the dog of that.
There are lot of dogs at the creek that chase sticks their humans throw for them, but not all of them chase sticks the way that dog did. They prance in anticipation, waiting for their human to throw it and as soon as they do, the dogs bound through the water, joyously chasing their stick. This, to me, is the difference between Beth Moore and the VBIM’s. They seem to have forgotten the simple joy of playing fetch. For them, it is not a game, it is a very important duty, an obligation, and they drive themselves into the ground trying to fulfill it. But who ever asked them to?
What’s sad to me is, I just don’r feel like they have a lot of joy. When I look at Beth Moore and her grapes, I see joy.
According to a former head of security for Driscoll’s Trinity Church, not only does Driscoll implement a loyalty ranking system that determines how much access you do or not get to him or his family, but he also allegedly hired a private investigator to surveil the family of a boy that supposedly kissed his daughter. Now this may or may not be true, but it does in fact fit very well with so many things we actually know to be true of Driscoll based on his own words from him own mouth. One might say this fits in very well with his established patterns of behavior.
And then there’s Beth Moore. She posted this picture of friends she made on Twitter, who she then met in person at church and went and had lunch with. Somehow, I just don’t see that happening with Mark Driscoll and his “loyalty ranking system.”
See, here’s the thing about Beth Moore. I get the feeling that pretty much anyone is welcome at her table. I don’t get the feeling that if you’re gay, trans, homeless or kind of stinky, you won’t be welcome to enjoy some hot biscuits and homemade jelly. (Although not homemade biscuits thanks to Keith kind of dropping the ball). I don’t think the same can be said for Mark Driscoll or Lori Alexander for that matter. I kind of get the feeling only certain kinds of people are invited to their tables - and most the folks I know probably wouldn’t measure up.
But I also deeply believe they would be lovingly welcomed at Beth’s table. With open arms and hot biscuits. See that’s the thing. We all have someone we welcome that we know is not welcome somewhere else. But can you welcome all the people? Maybe all the LGBTQIA+ are welcome at your table, but are the Trump lovers or the holier-than-thou Christians also welcome?
Now, I know the Bible says we aren’t supposed to compare ourselves to others but it does say we will know Jesus’ followers by their fruit. It’s kind of ironic that Beth produces literal, actual fruit, but Jesus was talking about the fruit of the spirit.
Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self-control
See, when I look at the John MacArthurs and the Mark Driscolls of this world, I just don’t see a whole lot of these things. But I see a lot of them in Beth. They radiate out of her from every pore. Kind of like I think they did with Jesus. I could be wrong, but I just don’t see Jesus having the arrogant swagger of most pastors these days. I don’t see him treating his disciples like lackies or flunkies that were there to carry his bags and wash his feet. In fact, he didn't seem to have any bags and as we know, he washed the feet of his disciples.
Although some pastors certainly treat women better than others, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say there’s probably not a lot of women waiting in line to bathe Tim Keller’s or Andy Stanley’s or Mark Driscoll’s feet with their tears. And even if they were, I’m not sure most of those guys would allow it. Especially if it meant being alone with her. And how many of these men have absolutely crushed people’s souls and then excused themselves by reminding the person they crushed of just how busy they are doing very important work?
Beth is also getting ready to release a Bible Study with her daughter. Now, I don’t know for sure that Mark Driscoll sent a private investigator to surveil the family of a boy that kissed his daughter; but I also don’t see the chances being very high of his daughter - or probably any of his children - willingly doing projects like that with him any time soon. Or ever. It is fairly common for most children to want nothing to do with the faith of their parents once they are grown, and that should say a lot about their faith - and about Beth Moore’s faith.
Lori Alexander is another “Christian influencer” on Social Media whose children I also don’t believe will be running to do projects with either. To me, these are people that have either forgotten or never understood a very important truth. Jesus was attractive to people. Everywhere he went, he drew large crowds and not just of the elite. He drew the dirty, the filthy and the socially unacceptable. People I just can’t see being drawn to Mark Driscoll or Lori Alexander. People wanted to be near him, to just touch him - even if it was only the hem of his robe. I think they saw in him what so many see a reflection of in Beth. And this is what is so important.
In our minds holiness is usually about what we abstain from.
But Jesus saw holiness as what you give yourself to. (Namely, justice, mercy, compassion, love & hospitality.)
In the end, the holiest people are the ones who love well - Rich Villodas
We are called to be Jesus’ hands and feet. Jesus called his followers to be salt and light to the world in a time when both were in very short supply. I don’t think being “salt and light” means being “holier-than-thou” or inaccessible. What good does salt or light do if you can’t access it? To me, the more warm, inviting and welcoming someone is, the more I think they best represent Jesus.
Several weeks ago, I started a podcast deconstructing some of the most popular books in Christianity. I started off with I Kissed Dating Goodbye and in the process of doing research for that, I looked up a pastor Joshua Harris had written about. His name is Matt Canlis. In the book, Canlis tells a story of waiting to start a romantic relationship with a girl he was interested in because he felt God telling him that He had work He needed to do in her first. So, unlike so many “Christian” men in America, he waited.
In Biblical terms, one might say he showed love to her the way it tells us to in 1 Corinthians 13:4 when it says love is patient. It should come as no surprise then, that rather than becoming a part of the American Church Machine, Canlis took Eugene Peterson’s advice and took himself off to Scotland where he learned a very different pace of life. Upon his return, he made a beautiful short film called Godspeed.
The idea of Godspeed is one of living life at 3 miles an hour, which is about the average pace someone walks. The idea is that we are so often impatient for God to move, when the reality is we are simply moving too fast for God. Instead of getting God to speed up to our pace, we slow down to Hers. Imagine having time to stop and smell the roses or to just sit and admire the view. What if we don’t actually have to live life at the breakneck pace most of us do?
Imagine Matt Chandler’s or Mark Driscoll’s mom spending all day cooking a beautiful and lavish feast for their birthday. Now imagine them sending someone to pick up a to-go plate because they are too busy and important doing very busy and important things to have time to stop and enjoy a meal with their mother. I think this is how God feels most of the time. I think there are too many people in Christianity proud of how exhausted they are for working their fingers to the bone for God, when God just wants us to sit and have dinner with Her. A meal that She even provided.
You may be one of the millions of people that believe that the world just randomly came into being and somehow just ordered itself into the magnificence we see all around us, but I don’t. I am just arrogant enough to believe in a God that loves me enough to create all of the mystery and majesty and wonder of this beautiful planet we live on.
I believe in a God that created sunrises and sunsets and rainbows and fireflies and prairie dogs and penguins. That filled every inch of this earth with wonder and delight. Instead of actually getting outside and looking at all of these magnificent things, however, how many people just spend their lives staring at them on a screen and dreaming of “one day” enjoying them? This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. (Ps 118;24)
How many people are running around stressed out, burned out and exhausted? And why? Because you have to “get ahead”? Get ahead of who? Paul did tell us to run the race that was set before us, but he also said to run it with patience. (Heb 12:1) What does that mean to run with patience? I think it means to settle in and run at a slow enough pace to enjoy the journey. None of us knows how long we have, so what are you doing today to enjoy this day?
Genesis tells us that God formed Adam out of dirt and Eve from Adam. We are literally made of dirt. When you plant a seed, it absorbs all the nutrients from the soil that our bodies need to replenish the resources our bodies need to live. Yet how many of us are too busy to eat let alone to reconnect with the earth from which we came? What is your hurry? Where are you trying to get to so fast?
This is why I go to the creek every day. I just started a blog and podcast and at the moment, I’m putting in a lot of work, but not seeing a lot of fruit. Which mainly means I am not generating any income. That can make you panic and panic often makes you work harder and put in longer hours trying to “make” things happen. It is very temping to think that we can “make” things happen just by working harder.
Thankfully, I spent 10 years as a missionary making between $20-$60 a week. Not once in that entire time did I ever have a need or even a desperate want that wasn’t met. I have a lot of faith in God to provide. And that’s why I go to the creek.
As I lay on the end of my air mattress with my feet dangling in the creek, the sun beats down relentlessly on the top half of my body, while I feel the cold water on my legs. The intensity of both feelings intermingling together is almost sensual. As I lay there, I literally cannot stop my soul from issuing a non-stop prayer, which says: “thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.” To me, that is communion.
I believe that Jesus was a man who lived life to the fullest. He was accused of being a drunkard and a glutton, not to mention a friend of publicans and sinners. (Matt 11:19) I suspect if she hasn’t already, Beth Moore will be accused of many of those same things. I kind of doubt Lori Alexander ever will.
I think there are plenty of men that want to have power and influence. Maybe some of them even still have a genuine desire to spread the gospel. Although having a lot of followers on social media doesn’t mean anything in and of itself, with more than 1 Million followers on Twitter and another half a million on Insta, I think it’s fair to say Beth Moore has influence. But she doesn’t seem to have sacrificed what is most important to get it. In fact, I don’t think she ever set out to have “followers” in the first place. I think she simply has a deep, abiding love for Jesus that she wants to share with the world and I think that love is contagious.
And that’s why I go to the creek. Going to the creek is an act of faith and trust in a God that I deeply believe loves me. It’s an act of remembrance of what is truly important. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to have influence, what good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? (Mark 8:36) I also matter. Yes, there is a world of lost and hurting people out there, but I can’t help anyone if I don’t stay grounded and connected to the source of my strength: a God who loves me deeply. What good does it to to have influence, if all you have to show for it is a tired, raggedy soul?
I deeply believe God wants us to enjoy all of the splendor of the beautiful earth She created just for Her children. But it seems like too many of Her children are so busy diligently chasing the stick that they have forgotten that the stick doesn't matter. It was never about the stick, it’s about the relationship. This is something I don’t think Beth Moore has forgotten. It’s why she can stop in the middle of the day and make grape jelly or take a hike through the woods just to look at her honey’s favorite tree. Or, you know, just look at her honey.
Now, her people are not perfect. They sometimes fail to share egg rolls and fall asleep in the middle of her sermons. But that’s also the great thing about Jesus. He does not demand our perfection and as a result, the deeper our relationship with him, the more we can be forgiving of the imperfections of others. And, the same way that God “will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten” (Joel 2:25) God will also restore the egg rolls that Keith has eaten.
There are a lot of clouds forming in my life that might or might not bring some storms. And that is why I go to the creek. Going to the creek is an act of faith and trust that God has me. That He is well aware of what is coming and has it all under control. While I don’t believe that anxiety is a sin, I think it’s probably extremely exacerbated by the American over-achiever lifestyle. We get so focused on plans and goals and destinations that we forget to just enjoy the journey. We get so freaked out about what might happen tomorrow that we can’t just relax and enjoy today. This is why I go to the creek.
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