What does it mean to “think like a girl?”

Just like computers, human beings all have an “operating system” that guides every decision we make, often invisibly. What we are often unaware of, is that from the moment we are born, we are programmed to believe certain things, which in turn determines how we act and behave. As young as five years old, a boy and a girl will act, think and behave very differently, even though at that age there is almost no biological difference between them. This is because they are being socialized very differently.

This “socialization” can also be thought of as programming. In other words, women act in certain ways as adults because we were programmed to act, think or behave in certain ways as children. The differences in programming between boys and girls only become more pronounced as we age. While the differences between five-year-old girls and five-year-old boys may be small, the differences between a 16-year-old girl and a 16-year-old boy are vast. Some of this is biological, to be sure, but perhaps even more of it is cultural. We are taught to act, think and behave very differently.

Our most core “coding” is called our belief system. Most of us think we know what we believe and would give certain answers if asked. What you say you believe and even what you think you believe is often not what you really believe. What determines what you believe, is not what you say but what you do. Your actions, not your words, are the most accurate indication of your true beliefs. As women and girls, we have been taught to believe certain things about ourselves that may or may not actually be true. It is these underlyling beliefs, however, that drive every one of our actions.

If you want to change your actions, you have to change the beliefs that drive them. The problem with changing our beliefs is that it is not as simple as just “changing our mind.” First you have to learn to understand your beliefs through deconstruction, then you have to deprogram your beliefs the same way you were programmed in the first place, and then you can develop your own value system and reprogram your beliefs to align with them.

Deconstruction is the first step in the process of deprogramming your beliefs and reprogramming them to be more in alignment with your own values.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”

- Mahatma Gandhi

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